“In Love in an Elevator”

A Rhode Island bride was on her way down to her wedding reception when she became trapped in an elevator. Melissa Rodger and two wedding planners were riding the Providence Biltmore elevator before it stopped four feet above the landing causing her to miss cocktail hour.

“I was hoping that it would just take a minute,” Melissa says. “Five minutes went by and I thought: ‘OK, something might be wrong.'” Her new huband, Justin Rodger caught wind of the situation from a bridesmaid just a few moments later. “One of her bridesmaids came up to me and whispered in my ear: ‘we have a situation that’s going on,'” Justin recalls. “‘Don’t be alarmed, but Melissa is stuck in the elevator.'”

A technician was able to get the elevator going after about 45 minutes. The couple says the rest of the reception went well even though it started 20 minutes late.

“Fairly Close to Due Date”

Kesha Martin and her family were hanging out at the Florida State Fair when all the sudden, her water broke. Martin suddenly had no choice and had the baby right there, but the best part is that the fair had a little gift for her and her newborn.

“I was just like, oh my gosh, I’m going to have my baby at the fair,” Martin says. “That’s the only thing that was coming through my head. I just wanted her to be healthy.” She ended up giving birth on the main fairway near the event, but Hillsborough County deputies were able to help her husband Lavaron Robinson deliver baby Lyric successfully.

What’s more is that when her family returned to the fair on Valentine’s Day, they were given a gift basket and tickets for life by the fair’s Executive Director Cheryl Flood. Deputies Robert Ramirez and Henry Echenique, who helped deliver Lyric, were also there to present them the gift.

“Scouts Honor”

An 11-year-old Pennsylvania Boy Scout was called for jury duty. Jeanette Fox says her son, Luke came to her with the summons that ordered him to appear in court for jury duty in March. She tried requesting exemption online, but there was no option for those too young to serve. After multiple phone calls she was able to find out that the county changed companies that create the list of people who receive a summons. The error was fixed, but Luke was actually excited to go after touring the courthouse with his Scouts last year.

STUPID CRIMINALS:

• Jason Scott Dillard was arrested three times in eight days all on heroin trafficking charges. Dillard was originally arrested February 8th after a two-year investigation. At that time 17 grams of heroin were seized among prescription pills and $6,000 cash. The investigation found he was receiving and distributing at least 100 grams of heroin per week. He was placed under $100,000 secured bond. A few days later he was arrested again, this time 25 grams of heroin was seized. After a third search, deputies found eight grams of heroin and his bond is now set at $2-million.
• A 17-year-old girl from Tennessee is being held responsible for her father’s carjacking. Police say Susan Mize orchestrated the robbery where two male suspects carjacked her and her father in their red Nissan at an intersection. The males held them at gunpoint and ordered them to drive home for more money. Her father was able to run inside the home, lock the door and call 911. Susan was eventually released, but the suspects took off with the car, which was later found by law enforcement. One of the men was captured by police and taken to Montgomery County Juvenile Detention Center and Susan was taken to Mongtomery County Jail, held on $75,000 bond facing aggravated robbery charges.
• A Florida man has been jailed for attacking a gas station clerk with hot dogs and a corn dog stick after the clerk refused to sell him beer. It’s unclear why the clerk wasn’t selling to Cavan McDaniel, but the victim was left with a red mark under her eye from the corn dog stick attack. McDaniel is now charged with battery-touch or strike and has violated probation. He is being held in jail on no bond.

“From Limelight Club to Candy Land”

New York is getting its very own Candy Land when the Museum of Candy opens this summer. The Sugar Factory, which is opening the museum, is converting the former Limelight club into a candied dream. The 30,000-square-foot space will be filled from floor to ceiling with sugary sweets. It will also include the world’s largest gummy bear, a Gumdrop Room, and stations where visitors can make their own candy.

“Ruffled Feathers”

Many KFC lovers in Britain had their feathers ruffled after a chicken shortage forced most of the chain’s 900 stores to close. KFC apologized for the inconvenience blaming its delivery partner DHL for the mess.

DHL says that, “due to operational issues a number of deliveries in recent days have been incomplete or delayed.” As of yesterday, 300 of the stores are open with a limited menu or cut hours of operation.

“Two Kids Dress as Tall Man”

Two friends tried sneaking into “Black Panther” by pulling the “tall man in a trench coat” trick. A Twitter user posted a pic of one of the guys seated on the others shoulders with a trench coat over them. The look makes them appear to be one very tall man, but the theater manager wasn’t buying it.

“We tried getting the two for one special at ‘Black Panther’,” the Twitter user wrote. Unfortunately, an employee told them, “You’re going to have to get down man,” but not before having a chuckle.

STUPID CRIMINALS:

• A Florida woman was arrested after she drove intoxicated while a child sat above an open 12-pack of beer. Stephanie Roque was just released from rehab that day when police pulled her over. They found three of the 12 beers missing from the case, which sat at the child’s feet. She was arrested and jailed, but released after posting a $4,000 bond.
• A 57-year-old woman tased her boyfriend to keep him from leaving her. Police say the two were “chilling” upstairs when she grabbed the taser. The victim hit her to stop her from tasing him and called 911. He’s left with marks on his “left flank.” The couple had been living together and in a sexual relationship for 16 years. The woman has been charged with battery.
• Police in Australia have released surveillance video of thieves stealing a fiberglass skeleton. The three men stole the skeleton from a building in Rundle Mall and boarded a bus with it. Officials are asking if anyone recognizes the thieves to contact them.

“National Treasure”

A lock of George Washington’s hair was found inside a New York state college library book. Union College’s archivists say they found the hair inside an envelope in the book, “Gaines Universal Register or American and British Kalendar for the year 1793.”

The envelope was labeled “Washington’s hair” and was given to James A. Hamilton, son of Alexander Hamilton and wife Eliza. Eliza’s father was said to be a friend of Washington’s. It’s believed the hair was given as a keepsake to Eliza, who then passed it along to her son James.

India Spartz, head of Special Collections and Archives at Schaffer Library is working to preserve the hair along with the book it was found in. “This is a very significant treasure,” says Spartz. “It’s a tremendous testament to history and our connection to some of the most important historical figures.”

“Monkey Business”

A tourist in China had their wallet snatched by a monkey. The monkey was sitting on a fence at Mount Emei in Leshan, Sichuan when it began emptying the contents of the wallet. Moments later the monkey jumped off the fence and ran off with the wallet.

“Deepest Depths”

The American Museum of Natural History in New York is adding a glow in the dark exhibit. The “Unseen Oceans” exhibition will feature fish from the deepest parts of the sea that can only be seen under black light. It will display hundreds of marine species that show biofluorescence. The exhibit is set to open in March.

STUPID CRIMINALS:

• German Police Looking For Pizza Stalker: German police are looking for a man who keeps sending lawyer Guido Grolle pizza pies. Grolle claims he’s being bombarded with pizza orders sent to his office and has already received over 100 pies. Sometimes the buyer switches it up and has sushi or sometimes Greek food delivered. The lawyer wants to press charges, but doesn’t know who’s behind the deliveries in order to do so.
• Missing Inmate Found Hiding In Ceiling: A Colorado jail was placed on lockdown after an inmate went missing. Less than an hour into the manhunt, which included K9’s, the inmate, Cody Crocker was found unharmed in the ceiling. Authorities aren’t sure how Crocker got up there, but rest assured the inmate is back in his cell.

“Red Hot Chili Pipers”

Duncan Robb traveled from England to Belfast with his girlfriend in hopes of catching Red Hot Chili Peppers in concert as a Valentine’s Day gift. But what they got was the Red Hot Chili Pipers, a bag-pipe cover band. Still a great band, but BIG difference.

“When I clicked on and got tickets in row Q and for 30 each I thought what a bargain, there must not be many tickets left and snatched them up straight away,” said Robb. “Also, I saw the date was February 10th, so I could make it into a Valentine’s Day weekend, kill two birds with one stone.”

Robb gave the tickets to his girlfriend for Christmas – and in all this time, neither of them realized the word “Pipers” on the ticket until after they were in Belfast. “[We] just had to laugh about it, what else was there to do!” says Robb. “The only saving grace was that we had found out three days before and not while we were in the arena!”

“Contest Alert!”

An Arkansas law firm is holding a Valentine’s Day contest for a free divorce. Wilson & Haubert, PLLC posted the contest on Facebook. All you have to do is fill out the submission form explaining why you deserve a free divorce. You can even apply on behalf of a friend. Brian Haubert says they’ve already received more than 40 submissions. “People see the post and get a laugh,” said Haubert. “And whoever wins the special gets to laugh, too, because they get what they want.”

“Tough Love”

Republican U.S. senate candidate Kevin Nicholson is getting some tough love from his parents who apparently donated money to his rival. Donna and Michael Nicholson both gave $2,700 to current Democratic Senator Tammy Baldwin. Nicholson is currently in primaries against Republican state Senator Leah Vukmir. The winner of that will face Baldwin in the fall. Though Nicholson is representing the Republican Party, his parents have a history of donating to Democratic candidates. Nicholson says, “My parents have a different worldview than I do, and it is not surprising that they would support a candidate…who shares their perspective.”

“A Bold Assertion”

A “time traveler” claiming to be from the year 2030 is making some pretty bold statements about the world’s future. Noah claims Donald Trump will be reelected as President of the United States and robots will take over the world. He also reveals humans will make it to Mars in 2028 and there will be a cure to many cancers. What’s even more astonishing is that he made these statements while hooked up to a lie detector… and he passed. The video has been posted to Apex TV and some users aren’t buying it. But it’s worth mentioning that if you believe a delusion…it’ll come across as truth on a lie detector test… just saying…

STUPID CRIMINALS:

• A Maryland “psychic” has been convicted of fraud again. Gina Marie Marks, who worked under the alias Natalie Miller, allegedly stole $340,000 from five people. She has since plead guilty to multiple counts of felony theft. Marks plead guilty to similar charges in 2009 and 2010. She didn’t see this coming?
• It seems that the Washington man with the license plate, “Dirtbag,” lives up to his name. He got into an altercation with another driver after he rear-ended them with his red Camaro in line at a carwash. The “dirtbag” who was dressed as a security guard suddenly pulled a handgun on the other driver. When officers arrived he managed to punch a cop in the face and threatened to kill three others. They say he also made racist remarks about the other driver. “Dirtbag” – and no, he hasn’t been identified beyond that – was charged with first degree assault with a firearm, assault on a police officer, malicious harassment, obstructing police, and resisting arrest.

“Zombie BotPocalypse”

A computer virus is set to attack America’s lonely hearts just ahead of Valentine’s Day. According to IBM, an aggressive robot network of six-million “zombie bots” will be let loose this week. IBM’s X-Force, which tracks down cyber threats says 230-million spam messages dressed up as dating ads have been slamming email inboxes with the virus.

During Valentine’s week, X-Force suspects the bots to increase. This attributed to a notorious botnet, Necurs. In a statement, the folks at X-Force say, “Preying on seasonal trends is probably the top characteristic of email spam. Those behind this campaign will likely lure their victims to share revealing photos and extort them, ask for money to come visit, or end up infecting them with malware.”

How can you avoid getting scammed? Look for bad grammar and spot if an email return address differs from the arrival email address. The New York Post also says to look for too-good-to-be-true come-ons.

“A Day Better Than Sliced Bread”

Missouri lawmakers are considering marking an official day for slice bread. A bill is pending in the state House to designate July 7th as Missouri Sliced Bread Day. Supporters say this will help promote tourism in the northern Missouri city of Chillicothe, where the first commercially sliced bread was sold on July 7th, 1928. The city holds a Sliced Bread and Jam Bluegrass Festival every year as part of celebrations. The bill is still up for final vote in the House and if approved needs to pass the Senate. If it does, this would be the best thing to happen in Chillicothe since… well… sliced bread.

“AWOL Vacation”

The good news – a missing Ft. Bragg family has been found at a campsite in Rhea, Tennessee. Deanna and Travis Reynolds, along with their 19-month-old son Cooper were last seen visiting family in Utica, New York a few weeks ago. After brief communication with Deanna’s father, Scott, they apparently fell off the grid after saying they were headed for Niagra Falls. The bad news – officials have confirmed that Travis has been AWOL from the base for about a month. Police do not suspect foul play.

STUPID CRIMINALS:

• Police in Utah have arrested a man who broke into a public safety building using empty vodka bottles. Once in, Siosifa Lolohea reportedly meditated on the floor in the station until cops arrived. When they got there, Lolohea was described as “incoherent” and making strange statements about “looking for Jesus” and “nice shoes.” Lolohea was reportedly upset the police were messing with his meditation time. Lt. Craig Martinez notes that there was a doorbell Lolohea could have used.
• Police Arrest “Obit Bandit”: Massachusetts police have arrested Randy Brunelle for breaking into people’s homes while they attended wakes and funerals. The “Obit Bandit” was a suspect in a series of break-ins on Cape Cod. He has previously served an 18-month prison sentence for breaking into a police officer’s home as the officer attended his mother’s funeral. Brunelle is facing multiple charges including felony breaking and entering.
• A Californian women claims thieves took the 500 cockroaches she ordered. Rosalinda Vizina is an entomologist, or someone who studies insects. She ordered the roaches for a project, but the box they were contained in was stolen. It’s believed the thieves were looking for tax forms to make bank off of this season. Vizina says, “I feel bad for the roaches in case they got smushed or tossed or something like that. For the thieves, I hope they went everywhere.” Us, too.

“Impersonal”

As the 2018 Winter Olympics commence in Pyeongchang, leaders from around the world, including Vice President Mike Pence and Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe gathered at the opening ceremony. President Donald Trump and Supreme Leader of North Korea Kim Jong-un weren’t among the attendees… or were they? Not exactly.

Turns out, they were impersonating diminutive dictator Jong-un and President Trump at the opening ceremony. Trump’s impersonator even donned an extra long tie and USA cap, but it was their taking of many selfies and causing a ruckus that got them kicked out.

The names of the impersonators have yet to be revealed.

“American and Americaner”

Team USA’s Olympic uniform is cause for talk after folks on the Internet noticed something familiar about the gloves. It appears the gloves look strikingly similar to the gloves worn by Jim Carrey’s character Lloyd Christmas in “Dumb and Dumber.” Tons of people have turned the gloves into a meme after the 2018 Winter Olympic Opening Ceremony.

The uniforms were designed by Polo Ralph Lauren and feature modern details and updated fabric. They even include battery-powered heaters.

“Now Accepting Bitcoin”

Arizona legislators have proposed a bill to accept Bitcoin as currency for tax payments. If the bill passes, Arizona would become the first state in the country to accept digital currency payments. The bill would allow income taxes to be paid in Bitcoin or other cryptocurrency approved by the Arizona Department of Revenue starting in 2020.

The bill has already passed the senate and has moved to the house for consideration. Of course there are concerns about the proposal. For one the value of the Bitcoin has fluctuated over the last few months, which would make it difficult to convert to U.S. dollars.

Senator Warren Peterson, who is sponsoring the bill claims this bill was needed to give tax payers options. He says, “This is all about ease and convenience. Here in government we are here to serve the people.”

“Continent Vs. Country”

An online professor has been replaced after incorrectly telling a student Australia isn’t a country and giving her a failing grade. Her assignment was to compare American social norms to that of another country. She chose Australia, but the professor gave her a zero, saying Australia is a continent, not a country. It’s actually both. Southern New Hampshire University says it deeply regrets the interaction between the professor and student and also wished athletes from Australia good luck in the Olympic games.

STUPID CRIMINALS:

• An NYPD cop is in hot water after sending texts to his buddy about drinking on the job. Turns out his buddy’s phone was wiretapped. Detective Ted Holoway was in the middle of a buy and bust operation. While texting his friend Paul Barone, the two joked about drinking on the job and Holoway even offered up a PBA card to Barone. Holoway divulged the suspects name and charged with improperly using his cell phone while on duty. He’s been demoted to police officer.
• Canadian officers have ticketed a man for speeding and crossing in the high-occupancy vehicle lanes without signaling. Upon pulling the van driver over, they discovered yet another violation. The man was using a mannequin, seated in his passenger seat, as a means to use the high-occupancy vehicle lane. The mannequin was dressed in a wig, sunglasses and sweatshirt. Police say, “The driver of the vehicle was issued several tickets for the alleged offenses and the passenger, who did not protest was given a ride to her new home… in a police car.”

“Angry Moms”

Two Washington mothers are furious after their toddlers came home from daycare with freshly waxed brows. They claim someone at the daycare waxed their children’s faces, removing their unibrows.

Alyssa Salgado says she noticed the missing patch of hair after picking her daughter Lilayiah that evening from a college campus. “I got a closer look and I saw she was missing her patch of hair,” offers Salgado. “She has a unibrow and she was born like that.”

Glenda Maria Cruz also claims her son’s unibrow was waxed that same day. “I tried to touch his face. He says, No, no, stop,” notes Cruz. “It hurts me because that’s my baby.” The daycare, run by the Boys and Girls Club, says it “takes these allegations seriously and will work to support the investigation process.”

STUPID CRIMINALS:

“Bad Drawing Helps Catch Bad Guy”

This is a RIDICULOUS way for a criminal to get caught right here. A guy stole some cash at a farmer’s market in Lancaster, Pennsylvania last week, and then he took off.

Fortunately, there was a witness who offered to try to draw a sketch of the guy. UNFORTUNATELY, that witness was terrible at drawing.

So they drew a hilariously bad cartoon version of the thief’s face.

BUT . . . believe it or not, one of the detectives thought he might have a hunch who it was, based on the sketch. So he put together a photo lineup for the witness to look through, and they identified the guy who the detective thought it might be.

He’s a 44-year-old guy named Hung Pook Goyen, and now he’s facing a misdemeanor charge of theft by unlawful taking. The cops are trying to track him down.

You can check out a photo of the guy and the sketch and compare ’em for yourself at the Bob’s Morning Brew Facebook page.

“Lost Composure Over Kosher”

An Ohio woman was arrested for menacing after an argument over hot dogs. The woman started threatening an employee and was using her phone to take pictures of her. The threats came after the employee couldn’t confirm if the store’s hot dogs contained pork.

“Exploding Toilet is No Laughing Matter”

Kenneth Capo was arrested in Florida for blowing up a McDonald’s toilet back in August. By blowing up, we mean actual fire, not number two. He set off the explosion, which destroyed the toilet and part of the bathroom. Now, State Attorney Aramis Ayala says they have decided to not move forward with the case. Her office determined that the case was not suitable for prosecution.