Offbeat News: Lonely Hearts, Sliced Bread & Stupid Criminals

“Zombie BotPocalypse”

A computer virus is set to attack America’s lonely hearts just ahead of Valentine’s Day. According to IBM, an aggressive robot network of six-million “zombie bots” will be let loose this week. IBM’s X-Force, which tracks down cyber threats says 230-million spam messages dressed up as dating ads have been slamming email inboxes with the virus.

During Valentine’s week, X-Force suspects the bots to increase. This attributed to a notorious botnet, Necurs. In a statement, the folks at X-Force say, “Preying on seasonal trends is probably the top characteristic of email spam. Those behind this campaign will likely lure their victims to share revealing photos and extort them, ask for money to come visit, or end up infecting them with malware.”

How can you avoid getting scammed? Look for bad grammar and spot if an email return address differs from the arrival email address. The New York Post also says to look for too-good-to-be-true come-ons.

“A Day Better Than Sliced Bread”

Missouri lawmakers are considering marking an official day for slice bread. A bill is pending in the state House to designate July 7th as Missouri Sliced Bread Day. Supporters say this will help promote tourism in the northern Missouri city of Chillicothe, where the first commercially sliced bread was sold on July 7th, 1928. The city holds a Sliced Bread and Jam Bluegrass Festival every year as part of celebrations. The bill is still up for final vote in the House and if approved needs to pass the Senate. If it does, this would be the best thing to happen in Chillicothe since… well… sliced bread.

“AWOL Vacation”

The good news – a missing Ft. Bragg family has been found at a campsite in Rhea, Tennessee. Deanna and Travis Reynolds, along with their 19-month-old son Cooper were last seen visiting family in Utica, New York a few weeks ago. After brief communication with Deanna’s father, Scott, they apparently fell off the grid after saying they were headed for Niagra Falls. The bad news – officials have confirmed that Travis has been AWOL from the base for about a month. Police do not suspect foul play.


  • Police in Utah have arrested a man who broke into a public safety building using empty vodka bottles. Once in, Siosifa Lolohea reportedly meditated on the floor in the station until cops arrived. When they got there, Lolohea was described as “incoherent” and making strange statements about “looking for Jesus” and “nice shoes.” Lolohea was reportedly upset the police were messing with his meditation time. Lt. Craig Martinez notes that there was a doorbell Lolohea could have used.
  • Police Arrest “Obit Bandit”: Massachusetts police have arrested Randy Brunelle for breaking into people’s homes while they attended wakes and funerals. The “Obit Bandit” was a suspect in a series of break-ins on Cape Cod. He has previously served an 18-month prison sentence for breaking into a police officer’s home as the officer attended his mother’s funeral. Brunelle is facing multiple charges including felony breaking and entering.
  • A Californian women claims thieves took the 500 cockroaches she ordered. Rosalinda Vizina is an entomologist, or someone who studies insects. She ordered the roaches for a project, but the box they were contained in was stolen. It’s believed the thieves were looking for tax forms to make bank off of this season. Vizina says, “I feel bad for the roaches in case they got smushed or tossed or something like that. For the thieves, I hope they went everywhere.” Us, too.


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