“Not Funny”

A Polish sock company, Nanushki has an interesting design for their socks. They chose to create socks designed to look like cartoon versions of Adolf Hitler. According to their website, they’re meant to “bring order in the sock drawer.” Mmkaaaay…

As you might imagine, the socks did not go over well with the Auschwitz-Birkenau Memorial and Museum. They were quick to slam the socks for using “one of the biggest criminals in history for marketing purposes.”

Due to the hate, Nanushki has renamed the socks “Patrick,” a financer with a “weak spot for fast cars.”

“Crispy… But Not Too Crispy”

Reddit user Rikardose has shared a hilarious receipt from a pizza delivery order that includes two very interesting sets of instructions from the customer.

First the customer asks for a particularly crispy crust. They write, “Crust a little crisper than normal. But not too crispy…” In case you were looking for a more thorough description, the customer was kind enough to elaborate. They continue, “If that’s not vague enough- make it like you’re taking revenge on a cheating boyfriend, but you still want to reconcile in the not so distant future.”

That was just the instructions for the pizza. Upon delivery, the customer notes, “The gate is tricky, please don’t break it. And the spider on the porch is called Frank. Be nice to Frank, he guards the tomatoes.” The receipt has since gone viral and garnered nearly 18,000 up votes on Reddit.

“Drinking on the Job”

The Vancouver Police Department is looking for volunteers to get drunk and eat pizza on their dime. The department sent out notices to select members of its Block Watch neighborhood watch program. It asked for 10 “volunteer drinkers” to go down to the police station and kick back a few drinks. The purpose is to train rookie cops how to conduct sobriety tests.

A few things need to be in place before you volunteer. You can’t be on any medication that can’t be mixed with alcohol and you have to sign a waiver promising not to drive the rest of the day.

Volunteers get to choose which hard liquor and mixer they prefer, but don’t expect any wine or beer. Lastly, police ask that volunteers act “in a respectful manner” while at the police station. All volunteers will be driven home at 4 PM, oh and don’t forget the free pizza!

STUPID CRIMINALS:

A Nebraska man is living up to his middle name: Trouble. Rodney Trouble Phillips is arrested after punching a man in the face several times demanding jewelry. The victim handed him a necklace and a ring and later flagged down an ambulance to report what happened. Trouble was later caught after he was spotted looking into car windows in the area. He’s jailed on suspicion of burglary and robbery.

“In Love in an Elevator”

A Rhode Island bride was on her way down to her wedding reception when she became trapped in an elevator. Melissa Rodger and two wedding planners were riding the Providence Biltmore elevator before it stopped four feet above the landing causing her to miss cocktail hour.

“I was hoping that it would just take a minute,” Melissa says. “Five minutes went by and I thought: ‘OK, something might be wrong.'” Her new huband, Justin Rodger caught wind of the situation from a bridesmaid just a few moments later. “One of her bridesmaids came up to me and whispered in my ear: ‘we have a situation that’s going on,'” Justin recalls. “‘Don’t be alarmed, but Melissa is stuck in the elevator.'”

A technician was able to get the elevator going after about 45 minutes. The couple says the rest of the reception went well even though it started 20 minutes late.

“Fairly Close to Due Date”

Kesha Martin and her family were hanging out at the Florida State Fair when all the sudden, her water broke. Martin suddenly had no choice and had the baby right there, but the best part is that the fair had a little gift for her and her newborn.

“I was just like, oh my gosh, I’m going to have my baby at the fair,” Martin says. “That’s the only thing that was coming through my head. I just wanted her to be healthy.” She ended up giving birth on the main fairway near the event, but Hillsborough County deputies were able to help her husband Lavaron Robinson deliver baby Lyric successfully.

What’s more is that when her family returned to the fair on Valentine’s Day, they were given a gift basket and tickets for life by the fair’s Executive Director Cheryl Flood. Deputies Robert Ramirez and Henry Echenique, who helped deliver Lyric, were also there to present them the gift.

“Scouts Honor”

An 11-year-old Pennsylvania Boy Scout was called for jury duty. Jeanette Fox says her son, Luke came to her with the summons that ordered him to appear in court for jury duty in March. She tried requesting exemption online, but there was no option for those too young to serve. After multiple phone calls she was able to find out that the county changed companies that create the list of people who receive a summons. The error was fixed, but Luke was actually excited to go after touring the courthouse with his Scouts last year.

STUPID CRIMINALS:

• Jason Scott Dillard was arrested three times in eight days all on heroin trafficking charges. Dillard was originally arrested February 8th after a two-year investigation. At that time 17 grams of heroin were seized among prescription pills and $6,000 cash. The investigation found he was receiving and distributing at least 100 grams of heroin per week. He was placed under $100,000 secured bond. A few days later he was arrested again, this time 25 grams of heroin was seized. After a third search, deputies found eight grams of heroin and his bond is now set at $2-million.
• A 17-year-old girl from Tennessee is being held responsible for her father’s carjacking. Police say Susan Mize orchestrated the robbery where two male suspects carjacked her and her father in their red Nissan at an intersection. The males held them at gunpoint and ordered them to drive home for more money. Her father was able to run inside the home, lock the door and call 911. Susan was eventually released, but the suspects took off with the car, which was later found by law enforcement. One of the men was captured by police and taken to Montgomery County Juvenile Detention Center and Susan was taken to Mongtomery County Jail, held on $75,000 bond facing aggravated robbery charges.
• A Florida man has been jailed for attacking a gas station clerk with hot dogs and a corn dog stick after the clerk refused to sell him beer. It’s unclear why the clerk wasn’t selling to Cavan McDaniel, but the victim was left with a red mark under her eye from the corn dog stick attack. McDaniel is now charged with battery-touch or strike and has violated probation. He is being held in jail on no bond.

“From Limelight Club to Candy Land”

New York is getting its very own Candy Land when the Museum of Candy opens this summer. The Sugar Factory, which is opening the museum, is converting the former Limelight club into a candied dream. The 30,000-square-foot space will be filled from floor to ceiling with sugary sweets. It will also include the world’s largest gummy bear, a Gumdrop Room, and stations where visitors can make their own candy.

“Ruffled Feathers”

Many KFC lovers in Britain had their feathers ruffled after a chicken shortage forced most of the chain’s 900 stores to close. KFC apologized for the inconvenience blaming its delivery partner DHL for the mess.

DHL says that, “due to operational issues a number of deliveries in recent days have been incomplete or delayed.” As of yesterday, 300 of the stores are open with a limited menu or cut hours of operation.

“Two Kids Dress as Tall Man”

Two friends tried sneaking into “Black Panther” by pulling the “tall man in a trench coat” trick. A Twitter user posted a pic of one of the guys seated on the others shoulders with a trench coat over them. The look makes them appear to be one very tall man, but the theater manager wasn’t buying it.

“We tried getting the two for one special at ‘Black Panther’,” the Twitter user wrote. Unfortunately, an employee told them, “You’re going to have to get down man,” but not before having a chuckle.

STUPID CRIMINALS:

• A Florida woman was arrested after she drove intoxicated while a child sat above an open 12-pack of beer. Stephanie Roque was just released from rehab that day when police pulled her over. They found three of the 12 beers missing from the case, which sat at the child’s feet. She was arrested and jailed, but released after posting a $4,000 bond.
• A 57-year-old woman tased her boyfriend to keep him from leaving her. Police say the two were “chilling” upstairs when she grabbed the taser. The victim hit her to stop her from tasing him and called 911. He’s left with marks on his “left flank.” The couple had been living together and in a sexual relationship for 16 years. The woman has been charged with battery.
• Police in Australia have released surveillance video of thieves stealing a fiberglass skeleton. The three men stole the skeleton from a building in Rundle Mall and boarded a bus with it. Officials are asking if anyone recognizes the thieves to contact them.

“National Treasure”

A lock of George Washington’s hair was found inside a New York state college library book. Union College’s archivists say they found the hair inside an envelope in the book, “Gaines Universal Register or American and British Kalendar for the year 1793.”

The envelope was labeled “Washington’s hair” and was given to James A. Hamilton, son of Alexander Hamilton and wife Eliza. Eliza’s father was said to be a friend of Washington’s. It’s believed the hair was given as a keepsake to Eliza, who then passed it along to her son James.

India Spartz, head of Special Collections and Archives at Schaffer Library is working to preserve the hair along with the book it was found in. “This is a very significant treasure,” says Spartz. “It’s a tremendous testament to history and our connection to some of the most important historical figures.”

“Monkey Business”

A tourist in China had their wallet snatched by a monkey. The monkey was sitting on a fence at Mount Emei in Leshan, Sichuan when it began emptying the contents of the wallet. Moments later the monkey jumped off the fence and ran off with the wallet.

“Deepest Depths”

The American Museum of Natural History in New York is adding a glow in the dark exhibit. The “Unseen Oceans” exhibition will feature fish from the deepest parts of the sea that can only be seen under black light. It will display hundreds of marine species that show biofluorescence. The exhibit is set to open in March.

STUPID CRIMINALS:

• German Police Looking For Pizza Stalker: German police are looking for a man who keeps sending lawyer Guido Grolle pizza pies. Grolle claims he’s being bombarded with pizza orders sent to his office and has already received over 100 pies. Sometimes the buyer switches it up and has sushi or sometimes Greek food delivered. The lawyer wants to press charges, but doesn’t know who’s behind the deliveries in order to do so.
• Missing Inmate Found Hiding In Ceiling: A Colorado jail was placed on lockdown after an inmate went missing. Less than an hour into the manhunt, which included K9’s, the inmate, Cody Crocker was found unharmed in the ceiling. Authorities aren’t sure how Crocker got up there, but rest assured the inmate is back in his cell.