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Offbeat News: Exercising Demons, A Wiz Kid & More

“Exercising Demons”

The Vatican is set to hold a week-long international conference in April after demands for exorcisms have increased. The church is particularly concerned about the inconsistent skills in current exorcists and fear priests are no longer willing to learn how to do it.

This all comes after a four-day meeting in Sicily where one of the organizers, Friar Beningo Palilla, said there are at least 500,000 cases asking for exorcisms a year in Italy. Why so many? Palilla thinks it’s because people often see fortune tellers and Tarot readers that “open the door to the devil and to possession.” Regardless of the demand, Palilla thinks priests could use some extra training.

He suggests intense training for priests to become exorcists including an apprenticeship. The goal of the conference will be “to offer a rich reflection and articulation on a topic that is sometimes unspoken and controversial.”


“Vote ‘The King’ for Congress”

It seems that Elvis Presley is gunning for the open congressional seat in Arkansas. We’re not talking about the actual King. Elvis D. Presley actually impersonates the rock and roller Elvis A. Presley, but now he’s switching gears to run as the Libertarian nominee for congress in Arkansas. His opponent? Republican Rep. Rick Crawford, who’s held the position four terms.


“Wiz Kid in a Doozy”

A boy got trapped on an elevator in China after peeing on the control panel. Surveillance camera shows the boy taking a wiz on the buttons, which caused the elevator to malfunction. The doors never fully open and the elevator eventually goes dark sending the boy into panic. Turns out his pee caused the control panel to short circuit. He was eventually rescued, but he and his family are expected to pay for the damage he caused.


“Think Before You Ink”

A U.K. tattoo artist, Eli Ink has inked his entire body including his eyeballs and the inside of his mouth. The process for inking his eyes could have gone terribly wrong, but he doesn’t care. It’s all part of his plan to look like a character in a Pablo Picasso painting.

“In my opinion, the only person who will only ever understand my transition properly is me. I don’t attempt to describe it to anyone,” Ink says. “I wanted to look like an abstract character in one of Picasso’s paintings. I love the abstract look, no thought, just pure expression.”

Tattooing his eyes could have had horrible consequences, but that was a risk Ink was willing to take. “That’s the risk you take letting anyone near your eyes, even trained surgeons can make mistake,” he notes. “Body modification is a risk taker’s lifestyle.”

So with all he’s done to modify his body already, what’s next? “I will never be finished,” he offers. “It will take me the rest of my life to finish my studies but I am dedicating the rest of my life to body modification and perfecting my work.”


STUPID CRIMINALS:

  • Australian police have arrested a man who managed to fit 650 pounds of the meth ingredient ephedrine inside highlighter markers. The New South Wales Police Force teamed up with the Australian Border Force after finding 50 boxes of 21,000 pens containing the substance. This amount of ephedrine could have been used to make $120-million in meth.
  • Police in Missouri have arrested Jonathan A. Menth after he led cops on a chase while driving an ATV naked. Menth led the chase for about 20 minutes and even went on the interstate. Police were eventually able to arrest him and he’s charged with second-degree burglary, tampering with a motor vehicle, and first degree sexual misconduct.
  • A Florida man was arrested after setting his neighbor’s Corvette on fire. Brandon Rivera claims his neighbors have stolen things from him including his lawnmower. Rivera used a Gatorade bottle filled with gasoline and poured it into the car. He then lit it on fire with a lighter, closed the door of the car, and walked away. His neighbors’ roommate was there at the time and put the fire out with a garden hose. Rivera was charged with burglary and arson.

For more Offbeat News, check out DJ Bob Allen’s Facebook Page, tune your dial to 99.5FM KMZN, or click here to listen live.

Offbeat News: Jamie Lee Curtis, Stupid Criminals & More

“Go Rib or Go Home”

Maeli Aguilar-Alvarez fully believes in going big or going home. The 26-year-old was spotted by a cop leaving Rines Market IGA grocery store in Indiantown, Florida. What really caught top police officer’s eye? Aguilar-Alvarez pulled a full rack of ribs from his pants.

A further search yielded two packs of hamburger buns, nine pieces of fried chicken and some mashed potatoes, all of which Maeli stole. Probably not surprisingly, the hungry crook reportedly smelled of booze and was intoxicated while dealing with police.

Aguilar-Alvarez has been hit with a retail theft charge.


“Dead Asleep”

Gonzalo Montoya Jiménez gave morgue employees in Spain a real scare when all of sudden he started snoring. The problem? The 29-year-old had been declared dead by three different doctors.

The man was an inmate at a jail in the Asturias region and it was there a guard first discovered him – appearing to show no signs of life. More than three hours later, and only a few minutes before his autopsy, Jiménez started snoring in his body bag.

Workers helped him to his feet and now Jimenez is under observation at a nearby hospital. Doctors believe he was suffering from Catalepsy, a condition characterized by a very weak pulse and serious muscular rigidity.


OFFBEAT NEWS QUICKIES:


STUPID CRIMINALS:

Über Stupid”

New Orleans authorities arrested a couple on Saturday night after they attempted to rob an Uber driver. The victim reported a woman, whom he had met and given his number to after a prior Uber ride, after she invited him to come over and the following transpired: When he arrived, the woman was topless in an attempt to seduce the driver, while her boyfriend robbed him at knife point. When met with resistance, the boyfriend ran off, but was eventually located by police via search dogs and was subsequently bitten by one of the dogs after refusing to come out of hiding.


“Elderly Eluding”

Age is but a number for the 80-year-old Swiss man who has been arrested for masked bank robbery. It’s unclear how much money he stole, but a photo of the man was released showing him in the mask holding a blue plastic bag of money before fleeing on foot.


“Gun Safety for Criminals”

If you’re going to go into a life of crime, you really shouldn’t be trigger happy. A trio of men broke into an apartment when one accidentally shot himself. According to Fairfax County, Virginia police, the wounded robber had an unintentional, self-inflicted wound to the lower body. Police say the three robbers fled the scene but it’s not sure if they stole anything.


To listen in live to Offbeat News, tune into The Morning Brew with DJ Bob Allen from 6:00 – 11 AM on KMZN 99.5FM and 740AM every Monday through Friday. To report your own Offbeat News, e-mail news@kboeradio.com. If you aren’t within our listening area but would still like to listen in to KMZN, click here to hear our livestream.

‘Offbeat News’ for December 28th

OFFBEAT NEWS:

For Jacki and Josh Grossman, Christmas Eve has a new tradition: newborns. The couple welcomed their second child, Elliott, on December 24th, four years to the day their older son, Oliver came into the world. What’s more, the same doctor delivered both Grossman boys.

Jacki says she “couldn’t feel more blessed” that her sons share their special day. As for Oliver, he seems pretty pumped, too. According to mom, the four-year-old ran around the hospital spreading the news.


TSA agents at Las Vegas’ McCarran International Airport were in for a surprise when they spotted a dead cougar in a man’s suitcase. The cougar appeared to have a Utah State Fish and Game tag but officials held the passenger while they investigated.

In the end, no crime was committed and the unidentified man shipped the cougar body to wherever his next destination was.

“It is not a crime to transport game that is legal to possess via airlines,” Police Lieutenant David Gordon said. “However, airlines reserve the right to tell passengers they do not want to transport certain items.” Now you know!


STUPID CRIMINALS:

A man in Akron, Ohio might want to go into crafts instead of crime. The unnamed person walked into a store and waved what first appeared to be a rifle. After an employee saw the gun was fake, he confronted the would-be burglar with the help of three customers and kept him subdued until cops came. After some investigating, the man was found to be in possession of a pole, a fake scope, a spring and two table legs fastened together to look like a rifle. He’s now facing a robbery charge.


A 22-year-old man walked into a Wisconsin salon to get the sides of his head shaved and an inch cut off the top. Apparently he was too fidgety because according to the unidentified client, stylist Khaled A. Shabani began to twist the customer’s ear and eventually snipped the man’s ear with his scissors. According to Shabani, the nick was unintentional. Oh, the stylist then ran the clipper down the middle of the customer’s head which left him looking, as police said, “a bit like Larry from the ‘Three Stooges.'” The customer had to go and get his head shaved before heading home for the holidays while Shabani was hit with a tentative charge of mayhem and disorderly conduct while armed charge.


If nothing else, Nicole Hunter won’t let anything get in her way. Unfortunately for her, this time that meant trying to do cocaine in a police station. Hunter, who was at the station after picked up for causing a disturbance, must have been spotted by one of the no doubt many police officers around and was hit with possession charges. She’s set to head to court next month.

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