OFFBEAT NEWS:

A happy birthday is in order! Francisco Núñez Olivera recently turned 113, making him the world’s oldest man. He’s fathered four children, and has nine grandchildren and 15 great-grandchildren. He’s been a widower since 1998, but lives with his eldest daughter, María Antonia, who’s 81.

Olivera chalks his long life up to good genes, hard work, and a varied diet of homegrown vegetables. Oh, and he has a daily glass of red wine.

The birthday boy claims to have been in good health until he had a kidney removed at 90. What’s more, Olivera claims he’s had perfect blood pressure and has never broken a bone.
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Police in Munich, Germany have to reimburse a man for his weed. The smoker, identified as Christopher N., was smoking medical marijuana when authorities not only insulted him, but destroyed the pot. Since he had a prescription for his stash, the local court directed that he get an apology and his money back for the weed.
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A father in Reading, Pennsylvania forgot his baby in a carrier on the sidewalk after he loaded items into his vehicle. To make matters worse, it was 48 degrees outside. And are we shocked to hear that alcohol was reportedly involved? Not really.
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The town of Charleville, Australia was planning on celebrating its 150th anniversary next year. After spending time and money on an anniversary event, the town discovered they were actually three years too late. Charleville was actually founded in 1865, not 1868.

Regardless, Mayor Liston says the party must go on. “We’re still planning on having some sort of celebration next year,” she adds. “The event staff are currently trying to organize what form the event will take at this stage.”
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STUPID CRIMINALS:

Even general manager Gail Linnel is sort of impressed by the man who managed to steal an ATM from her La Quinta Inn and Suites in Orlando. The unidentified man walked right into the hotel and upstairs to where the ATM sat. Over the next four hours he worked to unbolt the machine from the floor. Linnel explains that no one heard any noise and adds that whatever tools he used he kept in his pocket as he walked in. The crook then somehow dragged the machine out of the hotel undetected, despite being caught on security cameras. Police reportedly know the guy, but as far as we know, haven’t arrested him yet.

Police in Fairfax, Virginia say a man who got into a car crash near Washington Dulles International Airport had a strange way of dealing with it. The unidentified man stripped off his clothes and jumped on a passing vehicle after the accident. Authorities found him naked on airport property and he was taken to the hospital with minor injuries. No one else was injured, but the naked man did cause major traffic delays during rush hour.

There’s one embarrassed would-be burglar somewhere in Waterford, Michigan. The unidentified man broke into an auto-repair shop but tripped as he walked in, inadvertently pulling his sweatpants down and exposing his butt to the security camera. He got back up and rummaged through the shop but ultimately left empty handed.