OFFBEAT NEWS:

There’s a guy who just did something every single person on EARTH has fantasized about during a slow, boring commute.

28-year-old Xiao Cai lives in eastern China, and he’s been struggling with a long commute.

And he found one bottleneck especially frustrating because, quote, “The straight lane was always packed with cars, while the lane that turns left has a lot of space.”

So last Monday afternoon . . . in the middle of a busy commute . . . he went out into the street and spray painted a straight arrow in the left turn lane.

Unfortunately for him, the entire thing was caught by a security camera.

So the road was repainted, and Xiao got a $150 fine.

Wanna see the video? It’s on the Bob’s Morning Brew facebook page.

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About 150 Santas came barreling down a mountain in western Maine over the weekend. It may sound totally alarming, but it was actually for a great cause.

The 18th annual Santa event raises money for a a community fund that benefits various groups in the tiny western Maine town of Newry. Santas must suit up in full Kringle garb, including the white beard and red hat, before hitting the slopes.

The event has grown in popularity over the years, and this year it brought in about $2,500.00.

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STUPID CRIMINALS:

Indian police cuffed a man for the offense of stinky socks. Apparently, the man took off his shoes and socks on a bus going from Himachal Pradesh to New Delhi. Fellow passengers flipped out and demanded the man put away the offending socks or throw them out. When he refused, chaos ensued, forcing the bus driver to stop at a police station. The man was arrested on charges of causing public nuisance and later released on bail…but not before filing a complaint against his fellow passengers and the bus crew for harassment.

A drunken horse-riding women who was arrested for riding under the influence is now trying to get her horse back. Polk County Animal Control apparently took ‘Bo Duke’ after his master, Donna Byrne, blew double Florida’s legal alcohol limit while on his back. This is apparently the third time Duke’s been taken from the women, including one time when she was found in a ditch. “I’m worried about my horse,” Byrne said. “It’s not right for them to take my horse away. It’s the only way I can get around.” The woman claims neighbors are now giving her dirty looks and she just wants the horse returned. She’s not out of the woods, or the ditch, just yet, though. A final decision on Bo Duke’s return will be made Friday.

We all know that border patrol takes no bologna, but apparently, they do. Well, sort of. Over 200 pounds of unclaimed contraband bologna has been seized at U.S.-Mexico border. Apparently, bologna isn’t only delicious, it’s considered contraband because of its potential to spread foreign diseases into the U.S. A woman passing through the Paso Del Norte crossing apparently found this out the hard way. She told Customs and Border Protection agents she was carrying sausage. When officials ripped up her floor mats (yes, they do that for sausage), they discovered 227 pounds of Mexican bologna under the vehicle. The spicy meat was confiscated, and the woman was given a hefty $1,000 fine.