OFFBEAT NEWS:

Real Life Royal Family Is Not Happy With Burger King

Burger King has started a royal row. The fast food chain is opening its first location in Belgium and to mark the occasion, they launched a website asking people to pick who the “real king” of the country: either King Philippe or the restaurant’s mascot.

The actual royal family doesn’t think it’s funny. “We disapprove of this approach,” royal spokesman Pierre Emmanuel de Bauw says. “Since it is for commercial purposes, we would not have given our authorization.”

For what it’s worth, Burger King says they haven’t received any word from the royal family. The new location is still slated to open at the end of June.

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Police Officers Tuck Drunk Man Into Bed

A man identified only as Reece had a wild weekend that ended up with cops taking him home. A local Tasmania, Australia taxi company called authorities asking for help getting the man home. When he woke up the next day, Reece found a selfie the cops had taken on his phone after tucking him in.

“When police arrived, they found out his address, took the man home and waited for a friend to arrive to look after him,” Senior Sergeant Craig Fox explains. “Because he was a bit worse for wear, our officers took the opportunity to record the moment with a selfie in the likely event he could not remember how he got home.”

Reece by the way, thinks the photo was an excellent idea.

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Man Wants To Use Juggling As Part Of His Criminal Defense

Orlando Melendez is representing himself and court and his plan is, if nothing else, creative. The 20-year-old is facing charges after he used a toy gun during an attempted robbery in Springfield, Massachusetts. His defense? He’s literally a clown.

Melendez requested he be allowed to show off his juggle skills in court. He figured this would be  “not only the simplest, but the only possible proof that the defendant is a jester.”

Probably not surprisingly, Judge Robert Murphy denied the motion. Jury selection is set to begin on June 8th.

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STUPID CRIMINALS:

Man who sucker punched disabled man has a history:

Surprise, surprise, the man who sucker punched a disabled man has a criminal record. We recently told you Barry Baker was arrested after mocking and assaulting a man with cerebral palsy outside of a West Chester, Pennsylvania 7-Eleven. Now we’ve found out he’s history includes even more cowardly acts, like stealing hundreds of bronze flag holders that marked the graves of veterans at two Pennsylvania cemeteries.  Clearly, this guy’s a real winner.

Fishermen caught with illegal amount of fish…after they mooned land owner and tipped porta potty:

Here’s a tip: if you’re ever going fishing in Tennessee, you’re only allowed to five black bass per person. Mark Steven Jones and Earl Wilridge either didn’t know that, or didn’t care. The two Tennessee fishermen were found with more than 40 fish in their possession, but that’s not the end of this story. The dastardly duo were arrested after a landowner confronted Jones and Wilridge and they responded by “mooning” him and tipping over a portable toilet.  Jones and Wilridge are now facing charges of being over the legal limit of bass, illegal possession of wildlife and not having a life jacket.

Man could be fined $10K for driving into wet cement:

Shadrach Yasiah is going to have to start one serious of a fundraiser. The 19-year-old from Lincoln, Nebraska is going to have to cough up more than $10-thousand for repairs after he drove into newly poured cement. The police report says that it wasn’t obvious the cement was still wet, so as of now Yasiah won’t be facing any charges. Regardless, the teenager is still responsible for the cost of the repairs.