OFFBEAT NEWS:

Human Ken Doll’s Next Plastic Surgery Could Leave Him Blind

It seems like every few months we hear of a new plastic surgery addict trying to turn themselves into a doll. Well Rodrigo Alves might take the cake for most dedicated. The 33-year-old, who lives in London, has already spent $515-thousand on over 150 procedures, but his next one could leave him blind.

Alves is flying to New Delhi to get his eyes permanently changed from brown to gray so he can stop wearing pricey contacts everyday. Doctors are set to slit his eyeball and “slot in” an artificial iris next week. All for $10,300.

Why is he flying all the way to India? Understandably, there aren’t too many surgeons willing to perform the very risky surgery.

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Escaped Zebra Goes For A Run In Florida

Imagine driving down the street and getting hit by a zebra. That’s right, getting hit by a zebra. That’s what happened to a man in Wimauma, Florida who had a run in with an escaped pet zebra.

The animal ran into the driver’s side of his car, breaking his window and sending glass flying, some of which hit him. The zebra then ran into a field where it was eventually corralled by authorities.

While the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation won’t say how exactly the animal managed to get out, its owner does have the proper permits to house the zebra. As for the driver, it appears he wasn’t seriously injured.

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STUPID CRIMINALS:

UPDATE: Ronald McDonald statue found:

Ronald McDonald is back home. Authorities in Clinton, New Jersey found the life-size statue that was stolen from outside a local McDonald’s earlier this month. Police aren’t giving any more details, but the Micky D’s owners say the Ron is unharmed but will be moving to a more secure location.

Police accidentally discover a stolen goat:

When authorities in St. Paul, Minnesota saw a driver blow a stop sign, they figured they had a regular old traffic infraction on their hands. Instead, after a brief chase, cops discovered a frightened goat in the back seat of the SUV. The driver and three passengers tried to flee on foot but were caught. It turns out the gaggle of idiots stole Gordy, one of the 30 goats brought to Indian Mounds Park to eat invasive weeds. Now two 29-year-old men are being held on possible theft charges. What’s more, the men had knocked down the goat enclosure so cops also had to round up Gordy’s pals, who had gone for a walk after the goat was stolen.

Man destroys his house trying to get rid of possums:

It’s going to be hard for this guy to go the rest of his life knowing he was outsmarted by a group of RODENT COWARDS.

A guy in Lancaster, Pennsylvania went to war with a group of POSSUMS who were living in his yard last week.  And on Wednesday night, he tried to SMOKE them out by lighting a pile of leaves on fire in his backyard.

But the fire got out of control and spread to his house . . . and burned it down.

Fortunately, no one was killed in the fire, but a firefighter had to go to the hospital with a shoulder injury.

There’s no word on whether the guy accomplished his goal and got the opossums to leave or if he’s going to be facing any charges.

And one more thing:  The fire department said he told them he also has a problem with bees.  Can’t wait to see how he tries to deal with THEM.