OFFBEAT NEWS:

Skydiver Survives Being Entangled Under Plane

A skydive in Denmark almost turned deadly. Almost. A skydiver jumped from a plane, only to be entangled underneath the aircraft.

It turns out, pilot Leif Johannsen forgot to cut the line connecting the diver’s deployment bag to the plane. Firefighters put down a foam to cushion a grassy area, which helped ease the landing.

Incredibly, the skydiver only sustained bruises. According to pilot Johannsen, it was the 45-year-old jumper’s calm demeanor that also helped prevent a bigger tragedy.

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Darth Vader Costume Prompts Evacuation

To “Star Wars” fans, May 4th has become an unofficial holiday. While people were saying “May the fourth be with you,” a play on the movie’s iconic “may the force be with you” line, one high schooler in Wisconsin got in the holiday spirit by dressing up as villain Darth Vader.

Unfortunately for the unnamed teenager, a parent got nervous when she saw him walking in through a back door wearing a mask, what she thought was body armor, and carrying a bag. The unidentified woman then called 911.

Ashwaubenon (PR: ash-WAH’-beh-non) High School was evacuated and despite it being a false alarm, authorities say the parent did the right by reporting what she saw as a threat.

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Woman Swallows Thousands Of Dollars During A Fight With Her Husband

A woman in Colombia had saved $7-thousand after having sold several electrical household items. She was going to use the money for a vacation with her husband, but they got into a fight. The unidentified woman didn’t want her hubby to know about the cash, so naturally she swallowed rolls of $100 bills.

Surgeons have removed 57 of the hundreds from the woman’s stomach and intestines. The rest will pass through her colon, director of surgery Juan Paulo Serrano explains.

He adds that since the rolls of cash weren’t wrapped up or packaged, it’s unlikely the money was swallowed for any criminal reason.

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STUPID CRIMINALS:

Man arrested at the airport with a backpack full of snakes, lizards, and more:

Everybody loves a good souvenir, but one man returning home to Russia from a trip to Brazil did not follow customs rules. The unidentified man was found with dozens of live snakes, frogs, cockroaches and lizards hidden in his luggage, some of which were extremely poisonous. The man was arrested and held in custody while an investigation was launched. The reptiles and insects were taken to an animal shelter.

Couple admits to giving their tween 10 shots of vodka:

Charles Younger Jr. and Michelle Edwards have taken the idea of being “cool” parents way too far. The Allentown, Pennsylvania couple allowed their 13-year-old daughter to celebrate her birthday by taking 10 shots of vodka. The teenager was airlifted, while unconscious, to a hospital with a blood-alcohol level of .32%— four times the legal limit to drive in Pennsylvania (and basically lethal). What’s worse, Younger and Edwards fled the house after 911 was called. They’ve since pled guilty to child endangerment charges and could each serve more than a year in the county jail.

Man charged with bowling pin attack:

Michael Joseph Schumacher is not the man you want living next door. The 51-year-old from Missoula, Montana was living in a motel when he got into a fight with two men. It’s unclear what the fight was over, but Schumacher came back for round two swinging a bowling pin, which he used to hit his neighbor. He also threatened to shoot the neighbor. Schumacher is now facing a charge of assault with a weapon thanks to that bowling pin.