OFFBEAT NEWS:

The “Napercise” Workout Involves Going to a Gym . . . and Exercising By Taking a Nap

There’s a gym in England that just created a new workout called “Napercise.”  You go to the gym, head into one of the class studios . . . and then everyone takes a 45-minute nap.  You also do some stretches before or after, but I bet those are optional.

The gym says the class, quote, “reinvigorates the mind, improves moods, and even burns the odd calorie.”

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Obese Monkey Is Heading To Fat Camp

Visitors to Bangkok, Thailand will likely come in to contact with monkeys around the city. Once such monkey loves to interact with tourists, mostly because they feed him. That’s how the primate ballooned to 33-pounds, more than 10 pounds heavier than the average long-tailed macaque.

The monkey, dubbed Uncle Fatty, has dined on everything from melons to milkshakes and now he’s being sent to fat camp. Primate conservation group Monkey Lovers is going to help Uncle slim down.

“He’s not sick, he just needs helps,” the conservation explains. “He likes eating and there are lots of visitors and tourists who give him food all day. We want the monkeys to stay roaming free outside where they are happy.”

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STUPID CRIMINALS:

Flower shop owner charged with stealing flowers from graveyards:

Lynda Wingate has an usually, and slightly creepy, hobby: stealing flowers and other items from graveyards. A security camera was put up in  the First Reformed Church Cemetery in Pequannock Township, New Jersey after two flower arrangements, and then their replacements, were stolen. It turns out 59-year-old Wingate was the woman behind the robberies. The woman, who owns a flower shop, told police she was simply cleaning up old flowers from graves of people she knew. The cops aren’t buying it. Wingate is now facing theft charges. It’s unclear if she reused the plants in her store or was benefiting from the flowers “disappearing” in some other way.

Someone is going around shaving cats:

Waynesboro, Virginia is a small town with at least one weirdo living in it. Authorities are on the hunt for the person who is going around taking cats and precisely shaving their underbellies or legs. That’s right, shaving cats. The animals have all been returned unharmed. So far, seven felines have fallen victim to this strange and unwanted groomer. Police say they aren’t even sure what crime is being committed by this man, but owners would like it to stop. Understandable.

Woman arrested for xylophone attack:

Florida woman April Encarnacion does not appreciate the sound of a xylophone. Police were called after the 43-year-old dumped a pot of cold cooking grease on her male victim all because he wouldn’t stop playing the instrument. For what it’s worse, she claims she asked him to stop before getting grease involved. Encarnacion is facing a misdemeanor battery charge. What’s more, she’s already on probation in connection with a charge of battery on a police officer.