OFFBEAT NEWS:

White House Fence Jumper Snagged By Her Own Shoelaces

Marci Wahl was undone by her own shoelaces. In case you missed it, the 38-year-old from Everett, Washington was visiting Washington, D.C. when she decided to try and jump the White House fence. Then, she her shoelaces got snagged.

Security found the woman dangling by her laces and helped her down before arresting her. Wahl has pled not guilty to a unlawful entry charge and has a hearing scheduled for next month.

This marks the third time a person tried to scale the White House fence recently.

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Beer Based On Your DNA Is Now A Thing

The surest way to know you’re going to like the taste of something is to base the flavor on your very DNA. The people at London’s Meantime Brewery decided to take the genetic testing of  brewmaster Ciaran Giblin and create a beer fitted perfectly to him.

Meantime incorporated the results of Giblin’s 23 and Me genetic test by looking at the TAS2R receptors in his genetics, which dictate an individual’s inclination toward bitter or sweet flavors. It turns out Giblin is programmed to to enjoy the bitter side of life, including tastes found in coffee and Brussels sprouts.

So Meantime concocted Double Helix, a brew with tropical fruit aromas like pineapple and mango and a full bodied taste. After a successful taste test, Double Helix is now being sold in stores around London. No word yet on whether Meantime is going to expand their experiment.

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STUPID CRIMINALS:

Book burning leads to 10-house fire:

A man trying to get rid of some books by burning them ending up causing a fire that destroyed 10 homes in Nassau County, Florida. In what authorities are calling “purely an accident,” the man’s trash removal system got out of hand and spread and burned an estimated 350 to 400 acres. Only minor injuries have been reported. The man who started the fire is being kept anonymous, as are the charges he’ll face.

ICYMI: Pounds of cocaine found stashed inside picture frames:

Fabiola Guerrero Mendoza actually was framed. In case you missed it, she arrived at New York’s JFK airport from Mexico City…and brought 14-pounds of cocaine with her stuffed inside picture frames. Her plan was discovered after the three wooden frames she was carrying “displayed an anomaly” while going through the X-ray machine. The strangest part? Almost the exact same crime happened on almost the exact same day two years ago. On March 21st, 2015, Job Israel DeJesus Ortega arrived at Newark Airport in New Jersey with $30-thousand worth of cocaine stashed inside three picture frames.

Woman falls asleep after alleged robbery:

We’ve all done stupid things while drunk, but robbing a store at knife point then falling asleep in your apartment hallway? That’s next level. Melissa Holden is accused of robbing a Pittsfield, Massachusetts liquor store at knife point. After reviewing security footage, authorities say they recognized 40-year-old Holden from previous run ins with her. Later, she was discovered asleep in her apartment building’s hallway with her loot nearby: two bottles of vodka and a bottle of Gatorade. Unfortunately for police, Holden didn’t go quietly and had to be carried down flights and stairs and physically removed from the cop car. She’s now facing an armed robbery charge.

A Guy in a Deadpool Onesie Got a DUI After He Drove Onto the Lawn Outside a Taco Bell

I know this guy’s only 18, but WOW did he make a lot of bad life decisions on St. Patrick’s Day. An 18-year-old guy named Torren Cooksey from Portland, Oregon was arrested early Saturday morning after he drove his car onto the lawn outside of a Taco Bell. When the cops got there, they found him drunk and asleep . . . oh, and he was wearing a Deadpool ONESIE. He was charged with drunk driving and reckless driving.