OFFBEAT NEWS:

Man Gets A Ticket For Not Putting A Leash On His Snake

Jerry Kimball was minding his own business when he let his his four-month old Fire Bee Ball Python take a bathroom break in the grass at South Dakota’s Falls Park. According to animal control, he was breaking the law.

Kimball was given a $190-ticket for “animals running at large.” “It was April Fool’s Day, so I thought he was playing a joke,” the snake owner explains. “They’re not fast creatures. They’re not going to run away.”

He says he was told by the animal control officer to put a leash on his snake, which Kimball points out doesn’t make much sense. While Animal Control Supervisor Julie DeJong agrees a leash is pretty silly, she does think Kimball should consider some people may be afraid of snakes. To Kimball, that’s all the more reason to take his pet outside. “That’s my purpose in life: To let people know that snakes aren’t killers,” he adds. “What better way to give back than to help people understand these misunderstood creatures.”

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Message In A Bottle Survives 20 Years And 216 Miles

Pieter Schaper was helping clean up a beach on the shores of Vlieland, an island in northern Netherlands, when he spotted a message in a bottle. It turns out a girl named Susie sent the bottle into the sea off Kent, England back in 1997 when she was 10-years-old.

“Wow, this is special, this letter took 20 years to reach somebody,” Schaper says. “It would be so funny to track down Susie. She must be about 30 years old now and I hope she remembers her message in a bottle.”

So far, he’s had no luck in finding Susie.

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Citizens May Get To Legalize Duels In Oregon

The duel may be making a comeback in Oregon. As of now, the state’s constitution bans settling issues via duel in an amendment passed in 1845, almost 15 years before Oregon’s statehood. Politicians in 2017 want to nix the ban and citizens may be the ones who get to ultimately decide.

Proponents of erasing the clause call it “an archaic rule that’s unnecessary for obvious reasons in modern times.” There’s at least one person who doesn’t want to change anything, though. “This resolution would allow the candidacies of persons who give or accept challenges to fight duels,” attorney Dan Meek explains. “Also, there is a cost to removing obviously unenforced and unenforceable provisions in the Oregon Constitution, including the cost of processing and printing this resolution on millions of ballots and processing the results.”

If the legislature approves the measure, Oregon voters will see it on the ballot in their next general election.

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STUPID CRIMINALS:

Cat turn out to be underwear thief:

Not all criminals are human. Underwear and socks have been going missing in Kent, England and it turns out Reginald the cat is the culprit. The four-year-old feline has swiped twenty items over the past several months. Reginald’s owner Liza Brickell is now telling her neighbors who suspect her cat has gotten his paws on their laundry to contact her.

Man accidentally shoots himself at NRA headquarters:

The unidentified 46-year-old who accidentally shot himself out of NRA headquarters in Fairfax, Virginia isn’t necessarily a criminal, but boy he is a good example of irony. The man’s pistol accidentally discharged while he was putting the gun in its holster while doing firearms training. That’s right, this all happened during firearms training. He was taken to the hospital with a minor wound to his lower body. No criminal charges are expected at this time.

Somebody stole a cell phone tower in Canada:

Authorities in Manitoba, Canada are asking for the public’s help in finding whoever stole a 68-foot cell phone and Internet tower. The thief or thieves dismantled the tower first, obviously, then drove off with it in their truck.