OFFBEAT NEWS:

Baby Born During The Super Bowl Named After Tom Brady

According to Plymouth, Massachusetts couple Sean and Colleen Gaffney, their newborn son helped the Patriots win the Super Bowl. In case you missed it, Colleen was in labor during the game and Sean thought the birth of their child would help turn the came around.

“It was literally the middle of the third quarter,” Colleen explains. “My husband’s like, ‘Now! You have to have this baby so they come back. I was, ‘Really? 25 points?'” Once the 7.7-pound baby boy made his debut, the Patriots made their comeback.

In honor of the momentous occasion, Sean decided the baby should be named Brady in honor of Patriot’s quarterback Tom Brady. Brady Gaffney joins older siblings Knox, Reese, and Quinn, who was named after Sean’s favorite Notre Dame quarterback, Brady Quinn.

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Suitcase Has A 10-Thousand Person Wait List

Raden has made a futuristic suitcase. The company’s bags come chock full of features, including a built-in phone charger, a scale so you know how much your bag weighs ahead of check in, and Bluetooth technology that lets you know where the suitcase is when it’s out of sight.

There are two different models, the A22 which begins at $295 and the A28, which will cost you at least $395. Aside from being futuristic, they’re popular amongst celebrities. Oprah Winfrey, Jessica Alba, and Gigi Hadid have all been spotted with Raden luggage.

The only hang up? The wait list is 10-thousand people long. That’s right, 10-thousand people. “It’s hard to forecast demand,” Raden CEO Josh Udashkin says. “We’re extremely humbled.”

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Chili’s Lifts Ban On ‘Office’ Character

Second drink for all! Chili’s Bar & Grill has officially lifted it’s ban on “The Office” character Pam Beasley. Back in the second season of the show, Jenna Fischer’s character was banned from the restaurant chain after getting a bit too drunk at a company event there.

Fischer posted a selfie in front of a Chili’s and the chain took notice. They released a statement announcing Pam was allowed back, but also explaining why she was barred in the first place, including when she declared “I feel God in this Chili’s tonight.”

“After reviewing the good conduct of Pam, I have decided to lift the now 11-year ban,” says Kelli Valade, President of Chili’s. “Pam is an inspiration to many and we welcome her with open arms.”

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Harambe-shaped Cheeto sells on eBay for nearly $100K

A Cheeto that bears a resemblance to slain gorilla Harambe has sold for nearly $100,000 on eBay.

Bidding on the cheese snack the seller said he found in a bag of Flamin’ Hot Cheetos began at $11.99 on Jan. 28. It ended early Tuesday morning with a winning bid of $99,900. The listing showed a picture of the Cheeto side-by-side with a gorilla climbing a tree.

Harambe was shot dead by handlers at the Cincinnati Zoo after dragging a small boy who had gotten into his enclosure.

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STUPID CRIMINALS:

Man was drunk driving while wearing lingerie:

Authorities were in for a surprise when they found 51-year-old Daniel Marchese. The Pittsburgh man was going in and out of consciousness in a running car in the middle of an intersection. Marchese was wearing women’s lingerie at the time and left himself exposed to the police. Not surprisingly, officers found an open bottle of whiskey in the car, along with two guns. At one point, Marchese kicked at the officers and threatened them, which certainly didn’t help his situation. He’s now facing charges including drunken driving, indecent exposure, aggravated assault and weapons offenses.

Man tries to smuggle almost 45-pounds of meth in his gas tank:

A man was stopped at a Salton City, California border patrol checkpoint and authorities felt their was something suspicious about the 19-year-old driver and his car. After a second inspection of the 2010 Ford Fusion, drug sniffing dogs pointed officers to the undercarriage of the car. It turns out the unnamed driver was attempting to smuggle 43.46-pounds of meth in his gas tank. All in all, the drugs have a street value of somewhere near $173,800.

Buddhist monk found in possession of 400K meth pills:

It turns out life at least one Buddhist monastery might not be as peaceful and quiet as you’d imagine. A monk in Myanmar was stopped by police after getting a tip he was driving with illegal substances. They were very right. An anti-drug force found 400-thousand pills in the monk’s car and a subsequent search of his monastery turned up 4.2 million pills along with a grenade and ammunition. The monk has been arrested.